ABOUT THE BOOK Every once in a great while we are gifted with a book that appeals to our better angels by offering us an uplifting message of hope and renewal in an increasingly cut-throat, me-first world of greed mongering and quiet desperation. This is not that book. It's unlikely The Only Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need will enlighten you or change your life for the better. In fact, you may regress imperceptibly. Fortunately, the purpose of the book is to amuse, not edify. Each year, an increasing number of self-promoting self-help gurus lovingly bestow us with an updated road map to our souls. Problem is, none of these is funny. If laughter is the best medicine, you wouldn't know it by consuming one of the achingly earnest "Love thyself" books of virtue on the market today Enter The Only Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need: Words of Wisdom for a New Millennium. This book is an irreverent take on the relentless influx of pocket-sized books of pithy inspirational messages and timeless advice. The Only Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need is based on a piece I wrote as a columnist for The Daily Iowan while I was a graduate student in Marketing at The University of Iowa. Titled "Additions to Life's Little Instruction Book," the column was a heavily satirized take on H. Jackson Brown's best-selling series of self-help manuals. The tremendous response I received from this piece led me to compile a book of these irreverent aphorisms. The book does not provide overly general, tired platitudes such as "Always put family first" or "Never postpone joy." However, if you want to do that, that's your business. Instead, The Only Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need offers more practical, straight-forward messages, reminders and suggestions such as "Always wash your hands after having sex with a heroin-addicted Haitian prostitute" or "Never bet the house on anyone in the 100 yard dash named 'Sven.'" Let the healing begin. MARKET OVERVIEW Sales of terse inspirational self-help books have exploded in recent years. One of the first books to tap this market was Brown's Life's Little Instruction Book (LLIB). The first volume, which features 500+ short inspirational messages such as, "Don't let weeds grow around your dreams," was published in 1992. Since then, LLIB and several subsequent sequels have sold more than 10 million copies. In addition, Brown's series has spawned many other successful imitations such as God's Little Instruction Book, Buddha's Little Instruction Book and A Cat's Little Instruction Book. God's other little instruction book, The Bible, has also done well, although it's not very funny in some parts. Following this remarkable trend, a growing number of self-helpers have recently distilled their profound wisdom into short books of motivational aphorisms. Many of these titles have also been wildly successful. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff....And it's All Small Stuff by Richard Carlson, which contains such simple sentiments as, "As long as you think more is better, you'll never be satisfied," actually recorded the highest sales of any book during 1996 and 1997. Remarkable, since everybody knows more is, in fact, better. As a response to this proliferation of inspiration, a few parodies and irreverent versions of these self-help manuals have successfully provided an antidote to the good intentions of this new genre. Best sellers such as Life's Little Frustration Book have directly copied Brown's format while providing a different brand of insight. Unfortunately, this book is about as funny as a turnip. A handful of other recent parodies, such You Are Worthless (September 1999) by The Onion Editor Scott Dikkers, have also sold briskly by capitalizing on the backlash against the unrelenting flood of self-help books that hit the market each month. There are a couple of reasons these "little" books of insight, irreverent or otherwise, have been able to rack up such huge sales figures. First, the quick-read, somewhat disposable nature of this category lends itself to a number of distribution channels, such as drug stores, where these books are often sold as an impulse buy near cash registers--right next to the rolled-up horoscopes and the chocolate Easter eggs they sell in July. Also, the inspirational, self-help tone of these types of books make them an excellent gift. In fact, some recipients of inspirational books also read the book. Thus, these types of books are also often sold in gift and specialty stores. Second, the short-but-sweet content from popular self-reference books such as Life's Little Instruction Book is easily transferred to other non-book mediums such as calendars, posters, greeting cards, coffee mugs, etc. A recent Wall Street Journal article, in fact, described how Carlson was able to turn his bestseller into a lucrative self-help franchise by transferring the book's content to a number of these related product offerings. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff men's underwear may be the only retail channel Carlson has left unexploited. If effectively marketed and promoted, The Only Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need can also take advantage of the availability of a number of these distribution channels and eventually build a recognizable franchise in this market. It is unlikely that I will rest until branded material from this book has saturated the consumer market to the point that it is eventually rendered as uncool as a New Kids On The Block lunch box. TARGET MARKET The primary market for this book is the same good yuk-yuk appreciating folks who have delivered from bookstore shelves bazillions of copies of such paperbound comedy as Dilbert, The Far Side, The Onion, and Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy. These publications seem to be the favorites of the admirable people who have most appreciated my humor writing over the years, so I believe that this book is a natural fit to tap into this proven, fertile market. I've found that these people are generally 28 year-old, 6'2" white males named Jeremy. There are exceptions, however. Beyond the Gen-X trending, irony thirsting sorts who have recently supported the aforementioned titles, this book will also find a market in the same readers who have purchased the insanely popular inspirational titles this book parodies such as LLIB and Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. Of the numerous responses I received from my Daily Iowan column "Additions to Life's Little Instruction Book", upon which this book is based, by far the most positive responses were from readers who had purchased Brown's book. Thus, I believe owners of the super-selling books this book parodies will find the most humor in the material and represent a very large, natural market for the book. For example, if every one of the 10 million readers who purchased a book in the LLIB series bought just four copies of The Only Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need, well, we're talking well over 10 million books here. COMPETITION Although there have recently been several successful offerings in the humorous popular reference category, they all differ substantively and stylistically from The Only Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need. These are among the better selling humorous popular reference books: Deep Thoughts: Inspiration for the Uninspired (Berkley Books, 1992) Originally written for a recurring segment on Saturday Night Live, Jack Handy's hilarious compilation of inane personal meditations has spawned sequels Deeper Thoughts and Deepest Thoughts. These three titles have sold over 800,000 copies combined and have spun off into calendar and greeting card versions. Sample entry: "It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man." You are Worthless: Depressing Nuggets of Wisdom Sure to Ruin Your Day (Andrews McMeel, 1999) Written by Scott Dikkers, founding editor of the hugely popular newspaper parody The Onion, this self-hurt manual seeks to siphon off any remaining dignity the reader may have guarded from an uncaring world. Sample entry: "You are not living up to your full potential. You never will." Life's Little Destruction Book (Stonesong Press, 1992) A direct parody of Brown's series, this best-selling parody uses the same format to offer advice on how to make the world a less friendly place. Sample entry: "Leave the toilet seat up." Life's Little Frustration Book (Stonesong Press, 1994) Also directly parodies the Brown series, this time by using Brown's familiar format to alert readers to the hundreds of unspoken little annoyances we must overcome on a daily basis. Sample entry: "The hot dogs come ten per package, the rolls eight." The success of the above titles is proof that there is strong sales potential for an irreverent self-help parody such as The Only Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need. However, I believe this book is unique relative to its predecessors in terms of its style, tone, and approach. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Short Autobiography David Ash began his writing career with a bang as a wildly popular feature writer for The Pulse, a revered weekly newsmagazine that was headquartered at the Euclid Avenue Kinkos in Lexington, KY, and had a circulation that varied depending on the market price for yellow construction paper. As a college student at the University of Kentucky, Ash soon parlayed this sudden fame into an even more high-profile post as a weekly columnist for The Kentucky Kernel, Lexington's largest morning campus-based home-delivered English language college newspaper. As a columnist for The Kernel, and later for The Daily Iowan while an MBA student at the University of Iowa, Ash caught the attention of the Nobel and Pulitzer Prize Committees with a variety of hard-edged polemics on women's wrestling, heavy metal bands, and stag magazines--many of which were never published in The New Yorker. During this time, Ash was known for annoying and, at times, enraging his fellow students, often subjecting himself to verbal assaults at inappropriate times. Those who read his column had a similar reaction. Upon graduation, Ash eschewed the financial security his $6 a week column provided and moved to Minneapolis, MN, to make a go of it in the world of business. He would have elected to pursue a high level job in his home state of Iowa, but Dairy Queen wasn't hiring at the time. Currently, Ash is employed as Manager of Corporate Finance for a Minneapolis-based multi-national chemical company. However, he has continued to write on a freelance basis since college. Generally, the hours of operation of his freelance writing franchise are 5:30AM 7:30AM & 8:00PM 10:00PM on weekdays, and weekends during his 18 month-old son Christian's nap time (hours vary). The hub of Ash's operations is his online freelancing e-business www.daveashinc.com (open 24/7 including Christmas day). This writing/business bi-polar existence has worked relatively well for Ash, allowing him to both experience conversations with professionals who can construct a sentence that does not concern sales growth and also live in a North Minneapolis suburb with people who drive SUVs and have candle parties. Existing in both the quantitative, bottom-line driven financial world as well as the creative writing world has also allowed Ash to employ both sides of his brain on a daily basis, which is nice (the chewy center, however, has remained unutilized). Magazines, Newspapers and Professional Journals Over the years, Dave Ash has worked for a variety of periodicals, some of which are still in business. Ash has been a columnist and regular contributor to publications as internationally recognized as The Kentucky Kernel (circ: 17,000) and The Daily Iowan (circ: 30,000) and as diverse as Minnesota Business (circ: 80,000) and Twin Cities Business Monthly (circ: 155,000). He has also had some essays published in The Minneapolis Star-Tribune (circ: 790,000). PUBLICITY/PROMOTION Barring a nation-wide publisher-financed advertising blitz, promotion of The Only Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need will necessarily involve a more grass-roots effort to build word-of-mouth interest. A few ideas: (1) As a regular freelance contributor to several magazines and newspapers (9 published pieces in the last year), I can build awareness of the book by including a mention of The Only Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need with my byline. The pieces I've done in the last year have all also been published on the internet and this byline could include a hyperlink to the book for sale via an online bookseller. (2) I will aggressively promote The Only Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need on www.daveashinc.com. The new site contains interesting background information on the book as well as a good amount of humorous content and links to many of my other published pieces. Although the site has only been online for a few months, the traffic thus far has been much better than expected. The site tracker software I use shows that many of the visitors to www.daveashinc.com have forward the site on to others. With a little more time and exposure, I believe traffic on the site could easily multiply many times. In order to further promote the site that promotes the book, I have listed www.daveashinc.com with the major search engines so that it will be displayed when surfers enter key words such as "humor & book" or "self-help & book." I will also have a link to my site included in various online humor archives such as "houseofhumor.com," "amused.com," & "goofball.com." The site will also be included as part of my byline for my freelance pieces that are published online. In addition to a hyperlink to the book for sale online, the site will also eventually be used to sell any spin-off products such as calendars, greeting cards, coffee mugs, screen savers, etc. (3) Like most office workers, I receive many forwarded joke e-mails from friends on a daily basis. Many, if not most, of these cyber yuks take the form of a list such as "Top Ten Signs Your Drunk" or "20 ways to tell someone their fly is open," etc. The most popular of these lists are forwarded thousands if not millions of times throughout the nation's corporate offices. As evidence of this phenomenon, I will oftentimes receive the same humorous e-mail four or five times over the course of several months from unacquainted friends living on different sides of the country. Given the exponential power of this form of word-of-mouth marketing, I believe it would be worthwhile to create an e-mail containing a list of 15 - 20 entries from the book and send it to 30 - 40 friends with instructions to forward it on to their friends. With any luck, distribution of the e-mail will grow virally and reach thousands of potential buyers. To facilitate purchase of the actual book, the e-mail will also include a link to a listing of The Only Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need with an online bookseller. This unique promotional strategy may or may not work, but it costs nothing and is worth a shot. |
